Ok my mind has been screwed up for months from anger to depression and back. Through the anxiety might sound easy but combined all the above and it spell destruction. Now keep in mind that the mind remembers every stamp or memory you have can sometimes cause destruction.
Here s what I mean my parents got divorced early in my life and to me it was hell I didnt understand what went wrong . I was upset with mom dad sisters anuts uncles u name it. dad says nothing will change (oh how he lied so much) . Thats the thing it did change and I went through life father less cause the lier, lied through his fckin teeth. He drop what was a good family for some blonde hooker that in my eyes destroyed our family. Now my mind fights for what it didnt have or it should have. It pisses me off cause my mind thinks be a good father to your kids you know what it feels like to have your dad shit on you through out your whole life. And still to this day he is still a peace of shit, but I still Love him and would cry if he died.
As i fight my mind to do what it is right, it wants to be destrutive and destroy things, people, what ever is in my way. Why, I dont know why and noone can tell me all I know is lately all my stamps in life have come to the top and its about to blow. My mind wants to abandon all who love and care about me, on the account it dont want to be hurt anymore, or worry about who will try to attack next. la la la la thats how I feel, crazy , no not really kinda smart cause i ve been there many times and my mind knows this, so its scared of another stamp that may make u snap.
My mind set scared, angry, depressed, full of anxiety, antisocial and very desructive at this time want to drink, smoke, meth, acid anything to make me feel better, remember I used to be an addict so I dont feeling this way at all and it is very hard not to break this promise to my family that I made. So my family, kids, followers or people who care, people who has been where I'm at help me get through the hard times,(sometimes keep in mind it is very very very hard to do cause of my mind set) so please keep commenting and let me know, been there, care, dont care, whatever right. So please take care of your beautiful mind it knows where you have been and knows where your going you just have to follow it as long as it is safe.
goodday from dirts mind
troy, if you haven't done it yet, please check out my post, "the accident that changed it all", ok.
ReplyDeletei am a father that had the reverse roll, my wife left me, my kids adore me, and i send you my daddy hugs you never got.
youre doing the best thing that you can right now, Thats writing about t. The Doctors say we need to see a shink or a "pro"
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion as long as you get possitive feedback, and know right n wrong, and can use wisdom before you act. That is better then their "pros".. they just say , oh and how does that make you feel. with smart feedback youre getting help, real help, not their help, which in my opinion isnt helpful.
In their office you get to talk to yourself and get a bill n another appointment. The only thing I can say is the same as always. Behave yourself young man :p
Remember they are not just watching you, they are doing their best to push those buttons of yours, so they can take everything away.
The hardest blow you can land on your enemy is a simple smile. when they try hitting you with their best shot, just smile at them.
do your best to be happy with your kids, don't say any bad comments about their mom. Let them see who and what she is. Again that is a hit to your enemy that can't be blocked.
they see everything, so when with you, your happy to be with them and dont talk bullshit about the mom,the world, the system. They will see that. Then with their mom, she bad mouths you and anything she can to have them hate you.
I lost my thought :(
Troy,
ReplyDeleteOh, boy...
ARE WE GOING TO GET YOU THROUGH ALL OF THIS, MAKE YOU LOOK BACK AND LAUGH... BUT ALWAYS REMEMBERING ~ NEVER EVER FORGETTING, AS THE REMEMBERING IS WHAT WILL MAKE YOU STAY WHERE YOU "NEED" TO BE.
The "pros" that are good will not only ask you, "how do you feel, and then send you the bill..." My challenge for you:
1. Know EXACTLY what you want, what you see, believe, and feel (in detail).
2. Make a plan on how you're going to get what you want (even if that plan is day-to-day, hour-to-hour, or minute-to-minute).
3. Take massive action... every single day!
Forget about "changing" your current mindset... let's CREATE A NEW ONE... It sounds like you know a ton about yourself, which is huge! Make a list of your top 5 bad habits, mindset-wise. We're going to help you leave them in the past, creating new ones to take their place.
Get back to me with those, and we'll go from there.
All of us are going to be there for you!!!
I wanted to add...
ReplyDeleteRemember, most of what you described is a mindset issue (as you admitted), which is actually GREAT NEWS! It's great because the way you choose to react to those things that are driving you crazy is totally under your control.
Sure, you definitely have specific imprints on your life, which made you initially act out certain ways... but now that you KNOW what happened... it's time for you to take control!!!
thanks dayne i try so hard to keep my sejf in check but sometimes I lose my self in doing so, but Im learning something new everyday and that helps it just putting the things I learned in to play is the hard part.
ReplyDelete