SCARED

Ok my mind has been screwed up for months from anger to depression and back. Through the anxiety might sound easy but combined all the above and it spell destruction. Now keep in mind that the mind remembers every stamp or memory you have can sometimes cause destruction.

Here s what I mean my parents got divorced early in my life and to me it was hell I didnt understand what went wrong . I was upset with mom dad sisters anuts uncles u name it. dad says nothing will change (oh how he lied so much) . Thats the thing it did change and I went through life father less cause the lier, lied through his fckin teeth. He drop what was a good family for some blonde hooker that in my eyes destroyed our family. Now my mind fights for what it didnt have or it should have. It pisses me off cause my mind thinks be a good father to your kids you know what it feels like to have your dad shit on you through out your whole life. And still to this day he is still a peace of shit, but I still Love him and would cry if he died.

As i fight my mind to do what it is right, it wants to be destrutive and destroy things, people, what ever is in my way. Why, I dont know why and noone can tell me all I know is lately all my stamps in life have come to the top and its about to blow. My mind wants to abandon all who love and care about me, on the account it dont want to be hurt anymore, or worry about who will try to attack next. la la la la thats how I feel, crazy , no not really kinda smart cause i ve been there many times and my mind knows this, so its scared of another stamp that may make u snap.

My mind set scared, angry, depressed, full of anxiety, antisocial and very desructive at this time want to drink, smoke, meth, acid anything to make me feel better, remember I used to be an addict so I dont feeling this way at all and it is very hard not to break this promise to my family that I made. So my family, kids, followers or people who care, people who has been where I'm at help me get through the hard times,(sometimes keep in mind it is very very very hard to do cause of my mind set) so please keep commenting and let me know, been there, care, dont care, whatever right. So please take care of your beautiful mind it knows where you have been and knows where your going you just have to follow it as long as it is safe.

goodday from dirts mind

USED ABUSED AND CONFUSED

NOW THE MIND IS VERY BEAUTIFUL THING BUT WHEN ABUSED OVER TIME IT STARTS TO BREAK . TO BE ABUSED AS A CHILD AND THE MIND SET THAT STICKS IN YOUR HEAD ABOUT THAT ABUSE . THE MIND RACES TO FIND A WAY TO COPE IT MAYBE A FREIND IT MAY BE A BOTTLE IT MAY POT , THE MIND FINDS A WAY TO COPE WHETHER IT IS SUPPRESSED OR RIGHT UP FRONT OR TO DROWN IT IN DRUGS THE MIND FINDS AWAWY. NOW THE MIND IS BEING TOLD THAT IT IS THE ABUSER IT STARTS TO CRACK. AS THE BOMB IN UR MIND TRIES TO FIGHT OFF WHAT IT KNOWS ISNT TRUE IT BEGINS TO CRUMBLE NOT LIKE A BUILDING BUT LIKE A BAG HAVE ALL THE AIR SUCKED OUT OF IT AS THE LITE OF THE WORLD STARTS TO FADE SO DOES THE STRENGHTH OF THE MIND START TO FADE. THE STAMPS OF YOUR LIFE START TO FLASH THE PAIN OF THE PAST COMES TO SITE THE RAGE OF THE MIND BEGINS TO BOIL BLOOD TURNS TO FUEL FOR THE MIND. MY MIND IS WACKED, MY WORLD ABOUT TO BE JACKED , I JUST BLACKED OUT . WHEN I FINALLY COME TO IN A STRANGE WORLD WHAT I CALL HELL. THE WORLD CAUSED THIS MESS AND NOW R SCARCED OF WHAT THE HELL BUILT MIND THEY HAVE BUILT. THEY TRY TO SUPPRESS IT WITH DRUGS, DRUGS THAT ONE DAY THEY HOPE TO STOP MY FREIGHT TRAIN MIND. IT PATH NOT SURE ITS PURPOSE CLEAR NOW ALL I HAVE TO DO IS MASTER THE BEAUTIFUL MIND I HAVE. PHDS TRY TO TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG AND WHAT I SHOULD DO MY MIND SAYS THEIR SCARED OF U STOP THEM NOW CONTROLL UR SELF NOT THEM CONTROL YOU. AS THE MIND FIGHTS FOR IT PURPOSE TO PROVE THE WORLD PROJECTS ITS PURPOSE TO U . YOU FIGHT FOR WHAT IS RIGHT THE MIND WILL NEVER LOSE IT IS ALWAYS RUNNING ON THE PURPOSE IT HAS YOU DONT HAVE TO THINK IT DOES IT FOR U , R JOB IS TO SEE ITS PURPOSE AND CARRY IT OUT. DESTRUCTION OF THE MIND STARTS DEEP IT MAY TAKE YEARS IT MAY TAKE A SECOND BUT WHEN IT FINALLY RUNS OUT OF INK FOR ITS STAMPS OF LIFE WE SCRAMBLE TO REASON WHY WE DIDNT LISTEN TO THE ONE THING THAT TRUELY CONTROLS US. GOVERNMENT THINKS I M CRAZY , WHY ? , CAUSE I SAY AND SOMETIMES LOSS CONTROL AND DO WHAT I THEY DONT WANT THAT IS TO LISTEN TO MY MIND AND NOT DO WHAT THEY SAY, MY MIND IS NOT A SLAVE AND NEVER WILL BE, MY STAMPS IN LIFE VERY CLEAR AND VIVID, WHAT THE TEACH IS NOT WHAT MY MIND KNOWS, MY MIND KNOW LIFE AND HOW THIS LIFE IS, ITS NOT MY FAULT THEY THINK IM STUPID LITTLE DO THEY KNOW I M SMARTER THAN THEY WILL EVER BE, THE MIND IS A BEAUTIFUL THING DONT WASTE IT, LET IT BE FREE, LET IT RUN WILD , LOVE UR MIND FOR WHO IT IS NOT WHAT THEY TELL U IT IS, THE MIND WILL LET U KNOW WHEN IT HAS HAD ENOUGH, AND IT IS TIME TO REST, MY MIND CALLS FOR ITS DAILY MEDS NO PILLS NO DRUGS JUST GOING FOR A HIKE MILES IN THE WOODS LAYING DOWN ON THE GROUNG IN GODS COUNTRY AND FULFULLING THE FREEDOM THE MIND SEEKS. WHILE I LAY ON THE LEAVES STICKS WHAT EVER IS UNDERNEATH ME NATURE PULLS THE MIND OUT AND AS IT FLYS AROUND THE FREEDOM OF NATURE THE BODY OF ITS SLAVE LIES LIFE LESS FREE OF ANY STAMPS OF LIFE THE MIND SLOWLY REFUELS ITS SELF FOR ANOTHER STAMP OF LIFE .. FOR ALL THAT KNOW WHAT I SPEAK OF BE KIND DONT REWIND , NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF TOMMROW ...... GOOODDAY FROM DIRTS MIND

GROWING UP

It starts at birth weather it a tramatic birth or not life its self is tramatic and every event in your life effects your mind and i mean every. U may not see this until later in life but be prepared and take note through your life cause everything you hear see touch taste dream is stamped a part of life. yes I think life is planed in advance of birth but the trick is to under stand that plan. In my mind the events that have occured are what Im supposed to see and learn from and one day pass the experience on to the next generation. To me you dont have to go to college to get your masters in life as long as you learn from every experience tramatic or not and use that for everyday life thats the plan as i see it and i ll try to explain as i go. To be abused as a todler or abused as an adult some may say there all the same in a way thats true the difference to me is as a toddler u remember very young as it is stamped in your mind and as you go along it flashes back as the plan unfolds some of us are mentaly strong enough to with stand it and some not, strong may struggle but they will survive the problem in this life is when we know we need help where is the help where is the people that have been where we r today.they r blind to there life and dont see it in color neither do they see the shapes of life, it is very blured and destorted, the plan of theres is sent back to the drawing board and is planed into our to help the next with theres. The distance between you and your mother and father play a very major role, and it affects the mind very bloutly and like a ton of bricks, from anger to depression to the loss of feeling in the sole its very brutal on the mind and these experiences are the school of life, and the mind will always see these stamps the trick is to master these experiences and pass them on but people are so blind of this, they think a book can tell u this. These experiences have a lot of color and lots of shape, we that see this are sometimes deemed as crazy and they want to surpess with medicine and drugs intsead of seeing the real us and under standing our experiences in life and each are different and colorful. I beleive there is sombody in this world we are mentaly connected to those r the ones who know the real soles of our lives, and sees the real us they stick beside us though the worst of times, and i do mean the worst, yes they stay even through the rage that these experiences bring , I could start at the begining, but I choose to start at the what i call 40% mark in my life, this is my mental connect point in my life, where i have found a very wonderful woman whose stamp on my life has opened my eyes to the world of life and the value it brings, not to brag , or not to boast, but it is the truth, shes been through smialar experiences in life so the connection is very close, mental state plays plays a important role, in this . I grasp life so tight that I squeeze life out of life , and and it effects everyone in tow, as these flashs flash at every option they get in life these flashes may cause severe rage in some cases cause we feel were back in time again so we panic and the rage runs wild through our mind as we search for a anwser to the experience in our life, weather we been there before or there now the mind some may panic and become very depressive, very angry, very grumbling, thoughts become uncontrolable the mind races to process the thoughts this could happen for days as the mind wears down the sole of u losses sight of the importants of life, thats when you have to realize the meaning of it and embrace it,master it to get the true meaning of life thats the fight we fight everyday of or planed life.